On the Road That Connects Us

Last weekend I had the extraordinarily rare opportunity to travel from El Paso, TX to Phoenix, AZ. Total, that's 900 miles of driving time alone. I can't even believe it happened even looking back on it. I was alone. No kids. No husband. Just me and my steady steam of podcasts on the open road - and I could actually hear them. It was a miraculously beautiful thing.

In my day-to-day life, sometimes I get caught up in mom-mode, and I feel guilty for even driving to the grocery store alone. I'll have a major melt-down moment because of the daily carnage that takes place in my home (i.e. mass chaos over a stolen tea cup which results in hair pulling, biting and timeouts.) I'll be blubbering to my husband, Brandon, about my daily panic attack when he finally decides it's time for me to head out the door to take time for myself. And more often than not, I can't do it. I feel guilt for leaving them for even a full afternoon to do a meaningless, mindless task - alone. But last weekend -- ohh --I relished the quiet. The friend I was visiting was celebrating her final fling before the ring, and she was so deeply thankful and surprised I drove all that way to see her. This time, however, I was finally able to respond, "This is like a vacation for me. I needed this weekend alone."

*******

Somewhere along Interstate Ten I became acutely aware that I was going to travel this exact highway for a very long time (six straight hours; pretty much the whole trip.) From El Paso I entered I-10 heading west for Phoenix where I remained until I merged onto I-17 in the outskirts of Phoenix. It was during the stretch where the sunflowers bloom along the asphalt when I realized that even though I live 450 miles from my dearest family and friends, my driveway directly connects to my parents' driveway. In other words, there's a road that will take me precisely to their front-yard. When feelings arise of solitude and seclusion from being a military family who lives a great distance from those who I care most about, I can remember that one road will cross three states leading me to their front door. I am always on the road that connects us.

The very gifted writer, Donald Miller, perfectly writes in this novel A Million Miles in a Thousand Years,

"When you fly across the country in an airplane the country seems vast, but it isn't vast. It's all connected by roads one can ride a bike down. If you watch the news and there's a tragedy at a house in Kansas, that guy's driveway connects with yours, and you'd be surprised how few roads it takes to get there... My life is connected to everybody else's... "

Military life really blows sometimes. This evening my husband announced that he's going to be in the field (military training) during the wedding of the friend mentioned above. She's having a destination wedding in Long Beach, CA on a Monday in October. Brandon and I planned over a year ago that we'd attend. Of course, the military has a way of throwing an IED in our plans right at the perfect moment. I was fairly pissed off and cried a ridiculous, pathetic cry because this stuff often happens. Then I asked him to get out of it like it were jury duty or a parking ticket. As with many prior weddings, I'm attending this one alone.

The military lifestyle has its potholes and hairpin turns, but I hold peace knowing I am always on a road that connects me to those I love most.

Erin Bettis's Story. Thank you Erin.

Read More

Sing It Like You Mean It

One thing that makes a good song stand out from the rest is emotion in the vocals. If you want your song to shine, Sing it like you mean it. Put some emotion in your vocals. Try to avoid singing the entire song in one vocal level. Change it up. Try starting the song off with a softer vocal, then gradually build it up to the chorus. At the chorus try letting go.

Experiment. Try going up or down in pitch with your voice on different words. Try holding the end of different words in each vocal line, or try cutting them off short. Try different mixes of both on different words.

Try to substitute some emotional type words or phrases like crying, dying, lying, hurting, yearning, killing, missing you, wanting you, loving you, seeing you. Then emphasize those words.

Try holding the note in the middle of the word. Cry-yyyyyy-ing. Raise the pitch of your voice in the middle of a word like crying, to a border line whine like you are crying while you sing it. Try going overboard, over the edge. Don't hold back. Push it way too far, then record it and listen to it.

Too many times as artists we feel uncomfortable even embarrassed when we push the vocals too far. If you take a look at many of the top hit songs over the years, you will find a lot of them had odd, even goofy sounding parts in the vocals. Many times that goofy part is what sticks in the listeners minds.

Have you ever seen a friend or someone singing along to a song being played, and then when they get to the goofy part, they really emphasize it as though they were waiting just to sing that word or part? Their face lights up, it seems to lift their spirits, to arouse an emotional reaction in them.

You will never see someone emphasize a word in the center of a verse that is the same volume or pitch as everything else.

Sometimes it is good to go over the edge of your comfort level, to get your song to stand out from the rest in people's minds. You will be considered to be a better singer for it.

Try listening to some of your favourite songs and pay close attention to how they end each verse. Do they go down in pitch at the end of the first and third verse, and up in pitch at the end of the second and fourth verse?

Are the first, second and fourth verses the same, and every third verse changes? Does every verse have a little different twist at the end or near the end of it? Are the first two verses sung the same, and the last two sung harder and or higher?

These are all techniques used on many hit songs and top album songs, by top singers over the years.

Now listen to your song again. Is it changing or is it pretty well all the same? Try varying it to some of the different ways, or all of the different ways listed above. See what fits. Try putting a new spin of your own on it.

There is no reason in the world that you, YES YOU, could set a new trend in vocal delivery. One that others will follow and talk about many years from now.

Always remember the golden rule in singing vocals on a recording. SING IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!

Read More